


Fun at Work Day

by thestanceyg



Series: Darcy Lewis April Challenge [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, writing challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 16:32:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3657372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thestanceyg/pseuds/thestanceyg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts with Darcy and Clint arguing about who belongs in which Hogwarts house and maybe ends with a date with her boss.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fun at Work Day

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is part of the Darcy Lewis April Challenge. For today I selected Fun at Work Day and combined it with this AU prompt: "we started arguing about which Hogwarts house this one character would be in and we completely lost track of time and now you’re demanding I take you out to dinner is this a date"

When Phil Coulson entered the hallway leading to his office, he was surprised to walk into a loud, heated discussion between Barton and Lewis.

“Oh my God!  You have got to be kidding me!  Hill is ABSOLUTELY a Slytherin!  Do you have eyes in your head?”  Darcy knocked on his head, in a gesture that seemed to confuse Clint since it had nothing to do with sight.  He gave Darcy a “how stupid are you?” look.

Coulson quirked an eyebrow at his secretary as he walked past her desk where she was arguing with Barton.

“Hey, Boss man!  Back me up here!”

“Miss Lewis, even if I were to have an opinion on the matter, I wouldn’t be so crass as to vocalize it in public.”

“BOOM!” Darcy shouted at Clint, making her hands mime an explosion.  “That’s totally his way of saying I’m right.  You don’t want Slytherins to know you know what they are. I mean, not in a super secret spy agency.  You should be so unreadable that it’s anybody’s guess”

“Not uh.  You need to take Phil at face value.  He’s just professional.  You just haven’t learned how to read all his facial expressions.  It takes years.  Like the history we have.”

Darcy pulled a face.  “Don’t try to use your age as some sort of advantage, grandpa. I think you’re just saying that because you don’t want him to send you on that op to the ass-end of nowhere.  Guess what, sucking up won’t change if you get sent there or not.”

“I don’t suck up!  I would never!”

Darcy leveled her best imitation of an “can you believe this shit” face.  “Two words:  Ethiopian Coffee.”

“I WAS IN ETHIOPIA.”

“But you didn’t bring anyone else back anything!  Just Agent Bossman!”

“She has you there, Clint,” Phil called from his office.

“Totally.  Everyone knows the way to Agent’s heart is through his awesome secretary.”

“Also true,” Phil called, making Darcy crow in victory.

“I refuse to admit defeat, but instead will strategically retreat while I regroup.”

Darcy waved him off, “Whatever,  Just use a different vent.  I’m sick of dust raining down on me.  You’d think it would be cleaner given how often you’re up there.”

Clint sulked down the hall and off toward the shooting range.  Once he seemed to actually be leaving, Darcy turned to Coulson’s office.

“You have a meeting in fifteen minutes with Mad Eye Moody.  After that, you have a training session to observe.  I’ll be gone from 10 to 11 for a meeting with Pepper about some Avengers PR opportunities.  I should be back before you, but if not, that’s where I am.”

“Mad Eye Moody?”

“Director Fury.”

“Obviously,” he nodded.  “Anything else before I leave?”

“Some After Action Reports were turned in, but I’m sending them back to the agents because, seriously, we are way too good to make this many spelling errors on forms.”

“Red pen treatment?”

“Crayon.  More insulting.  Much like turning that shit in to me to begin with.”

“Sounds good, Lewis.  I’d like to do a working lunch so we can discuss some protocols for when I am out next month.”

“Can do, Bossman.  Thai?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll pick it up on my way back.  Text me your order.”

“Until then,” he said, clearly dismissing her.

Instead of responding, Darcy gave a sarcastic salute and went back to her desk, pulling a box of crayons out of a drawer.

 

***

 

When Darcy returned, later than anticipated, she stopped at her desk to drop off her keys and notes, and regroup before taking the take-out in for her working lunch.  She looked down at the paper on her desk where she had been sorting various agents into their Hogwarts house.  She noticed that Clint had added Tony as Ravenclaw, and laughed a little.  But then she saw, next to Fury (which she was having a hard time deciding on), Hufflepuff in clear, neat print.  Grinning, she grabbed the paper and added it to her stack and raced into Coulson’s office.  Once inside, she shut the door and whispered dramatically, “Hufflepuff?!”

Phil gave a little smirk, but said, “Some people are.”  Then his face turned bland and unreadable. “Do you have someone specific in mind?”

She held the paper in front of his face.  “Yes, sir, I do.”

He made a show of studying the paper and then tilting his head, “Well, that would be one theory.”  He quirked an eyebrow and then pulled out some forms.  “Now, I wanted to talk about how we’ll handle my absence next month…”

All throughout the day, Darcy would leave her desk to get coffee, drop off forms, or just stretch her legs, she would come back to a change to her list.  Sometimes it was an addition, and sometimes it was a change of house.  When she realized that this was going to happen every time she was away from the desk, she started adding some options that were very clearly wrong, just to see how they were changed.  Whenever she returned, there was never a look from her boss or any sort of acknowledgement about the list or her at all.  

All too soon the day was over and her paper was a mess.

“Miss Lewis?”

“Yes?”

“I believe that your side project today isn’t fully complete.  What are your plans for it?”

“Oh.  I, well, hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Not to be presumptuous, but I do believe you have some rather wrong ideas on that paper.  I think additional information might help you better sort this project.”

“And how might I get that kind of info, Bossman?”

“What are you plans for dinner?”

Confused, Darcy answered, “I have some lasagna at home I was going to heat up.”

“Excellent.  I will be there in an hour.  We have much to discuss.”

Darcy stared slack jawed at his retreating back.  Did Phil just invite himself over?  For dinner?  For a debate about Hogwarts housing?

Was this a date?!


End file.
